I am a universal life minister and can serve legally for weddings. I love to do spiritual studies of different religions and schools of thought, so I can tailor words to your understandings and beliefs. I love doing weddings. I also can do other special occasions like baptisms, or any other life or end of life ceremony’s . I can work with you as much as you wish.
Here is an example of a more lengthy wedding I did. Parts of it can be used and changed if you want. I have capitalized words I consider to have a divine quality we can associate with God. In truth it could be argued that any word could be so related.
Marriage Ceremony for Gwen and Kurt;
Welcome all! You, who are dear to Kurt and Gweny, are the witnesses. Over time, you will hold and support their marriage by having given your Heart’s consent here today. If you do not approve of this wedding, speak now or forever hold your peace.
Kurt made a request: He sincerely wants everyone to just relax and enjoy the event. Kick off your shoes if they’re uncomfortable, let your guard down, and be like family. Bless this wedding by feeling at home in this celebration.
I would like to invite all of you to help bring a sense of the presence to any of Kurt and Gweny’s relatives who have passed on to where ever they mysteriously go. If you knew them, think of their smiles and charms and with your Good thoughts bring them into your Hearts: Ernest and Babs Rogers, affectionately known as Ema and Epa; Glynn, or Grandaddy Ross; and all the great grandparents that came before. There are also others living that are only here in spirit because of circumstances that kept them from coming, such as Pap and Grama Flick, Seattle’s Uncle Jim and Tobias.
To Kurt and Gwen: The love of parents for their young runs deep. Their bringing you up the aisle is their personal blessing for you as you move into one of the greatest of institutions for love and commitment ever.
Addressing the parents and grandparents; Mike and Pam Flickinger, Rick and Stephanie Rogers, Gio, and Doris and Gerald: Kurt noted that, much like you and your parents, they were brought together from distant home lands or lifestyles, and together they have created a blend of many of the customs and grounded ethics that you exemplified to them. They are grateful and proud of you.
While I was talking with this sweet couple, Kurt made a profoundly masculine statement and forever earned my respect: He said that in marrying Gwendolyn, he wanted to follow a succession of long and successful marriages that have blessed their parents, grandparents, and the majority of their relatives. He wants to carry that legacy on through his family. I was at once humbled and delighted, knowing that he would be husband to dear Gwen. And Gwendolyn, with her impeccable nature, warm-hearted way, and loyal character, will always be there for Kurt. It is easy to bless this wedding with all my Heart.
Gweny’s request to me was that I not shy away from expounding on the Spiritual aspects of marriage and weddings. So I will be speaking from my Heart and experience.
Kurt Aaron, and Gwendolyn Gio: Marriage is a complex fusion of business and pleasure! Reflect for one moment on the enormity of the effect of having a person that so respects you that even in great adversity, the intention is to ride the storm together. Think of the growth potential gained from having someone who knows and Loves you enough to find ways to let you know that they can see your deepest fears, and know that even if it takes you ten or twenty or even thirty years to turn and face them, (as it often does) this dear Love, this friend for life, this Independent Spirit, is holding fast to you.
Think of the dreams that can be Realized when you know you have a comrade like this for Life. Consider the Love shared from growing, although sometimes with difficulty. You will be adjusting consciously and unconsciously to gradual inner changes. What a Good and convenient thing: To share Life with someone who knows where you came from, and your Deepest Intentions. How Good and Comforting, to know that this Love of yours knows you as you were, and as you are now. They might even know that part of you that hasn’t changed since you can remember, your Soul. This is Good, or as I see it God, living through you.
I would like to also remind you of some underrated Pleasures of marriage: Like reading together, or just sitting comfortably close, the intimacy of having your guard down. Celebrate your differences: don’t bemoan them. I realize this is a generalization, but consider a woman with her unceasing mind, always aware of what would be best for her Love, her family and maybe “Oh yes,” for herself. Or think of a man’s bravery, defending his family without a second thought. Or a woman’s tendency towards creativity, caring, and tending to everything, or a man bringing humor and a carefree spirit to all.
This is Love stuff! This is the Good (or God) that holds us all together, and for some reason, helps keep us focused and grounded. Many elders have said to me that there are two things they have found important for holding their marriages together:
The first is Respect. Sounds abstract and formal, but it takes practice to really respect. How I define respect is this: Respect for a person means truly knowing that a person has insights, a way, and a purpose, separate from my agenda. Respect in a relationship, at its highest level, is Spiritual camaraderie.
The other Gold nugget is that having things you Enjoy doing Together helps hold a relationship. So, even when you aren’t necessarily falling head over heals for each other, you can still have a Good time Together, and avoid distance in the relationship.
So let us move into some of the formalities of Wedding you two Vital and Beautiful people:Tradition calls that I ask if there is anyone here who for any reason opposes this wedding, to speak now or forever hold their peace.(Kurt at this point turned and looked mock menacingly at the crowd and they laughed)
Kurt Aaron Flickinger, and Gwendolyn Gio Rogers; To begin this process of Wedding we will use these ribbons! (Hillary, the maid of honor, weaves their hands together with the ribbons.) As the ribbons weave and bind your hands, so now are your lives bound together, so long as Love shall last.
To Kurt and Gwen.
Traditions come to us through time because they work. There are two major responsibilities that come with marriage; they are for good reason, and tried and True. They exist because we are all both fragile and Strong. Sometimes we are unaware of the forces that are driving us and these marital expectations serve to contain the relationship. These expectations are embedded in traditions throughout the world.
The first is that we acknowledge the pleasures of the flesh as a sacred thing, necessitating exclusivity. Greater Trust is given, and deeper dreams are often shared in this way. Allow it to be a special time. Know that this special lover relationship is fragile. Unkind words are not easily forgotten and can hold a person back. When a person needs validation, they can foolishly be tempted into the reckless loosening of this exclusive relationship. It makes it nearly impossible to share what you are going through, thus creating even more distance. It always wounds deeply, and often makes it very difficult to regain that sacred bond. Hold close! At the same time, give room to each other though all your changes. You will cross great waters and the depth of your Love and friendship will grow on and on. Develop your ability to Love yourself and others, to Forgive, and to Trust. These abilities, more than any others, will help you ride though all your storms.
The other commitment has to do with the fact that to be married is more than just being two lovers for life. There are the joint business and personal responsibilities of the home, your health, your offspring, your psychological and Spiritual development, and even your community. Consider your intentions, goals, and choices together. Find ways for them to work for you both, and support each others endeavors with love and enthusiasm. When there are big differences, listen to each other closely with your Hearts and with Trust and Respect. Make room for each other and find a Good way.
Kurt and Gwendolyn have prepared personal vows to share with each other and be witnessed by you all. Kurt and Gwendolyn, please turn and face each other, join your hands, and look into each other’s eyes.
Asking Gwendolyn; Would you like Kurt to go first? (niether had heard eachothers vows or words of love and devotion before this time)
Kurt read his vows.
Gwendolyn? Gwendolyn’s read her vows.
The rings can hold many meanings. But to the world they say “I am my Beloved’s and my Beloved is mine”. Please bring the rings forward.
Kurt, as you place the ring on Gwendolyn’s finger, answer me this:
Do you Kurt Aaron Flickinger, take Gwendolyn Gio Rogers to be your lawfully wedded wife, from this day forward, to have and to hold, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to Love and to cherish, ’til death do you part?
“I do.”
And as you, Gwendolyn, place the ring on Kurt’s finger, answer me this. Do you Gwendolyn Gio Rogers, take Kurt Aaron Flickinger to be your lawfully wedded Husband, from this day forward, to have and to hold, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to Love and to cherish, ‘til death do you part?
“I do.”
Please bring the wine glass forward.
While they drink:
Wine is a universal symbol of the richness of life and Sweetness of Love. May you find life’s joys heightened and it’s sorrows and bitterness Sweetened, May you share Contentment, Peace and Fulfillment from this single Cup of Life.
And as Grace enters, Blesses, and guides you, By the Power invested in me, I pronounce you man and wife!
(They Break the glasses and Kiss.)
Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you for the first time Kurt and Gwendolyn Flickinger!
After they walk out, I announced where everyone was gathering next.